My name is Yelena and I'm a student in the Visual Arts Academy at Salem High School. Through my art, I aim to express the indescribable through vivid color and seemingly cute imagery. Do not mistake a pastel color palette for lightheartedness!
This semester, I am taking Junior Portfolio. This is a class literally meant for junior's to build a portfolio, specifically by creating a series of artworks over the course of the class. I like to make art about things I can't express to people through words, whether it be that others simply don't understan'd or something I feel embarrassed or afraid to speak about. I'm not one to be very open about the darker issues in my life, so I express these things through obnoxiously cute and colorful art. For my next project, I want to focus on the idea of insignificance.
For me, feeling unimportant and unheard is a daily dilemma. It is so deep of an issue that it can be divided into parts. It leads to questions such as: "am I truly unimportant, or do I exaggerate too much?", "why is it so hard to get others to see me?", and " why is everyone better than me?". This all stems from low self esteem, so it's virtually impossible to actually determine my worth, if that's even something that can be determined. The factors of how I perceive myself, how others perceive me, and how I perceive how others are perceiving me come into play as well. (See how confusing this gets? That's why we have art!)
In class, I've been researching artists such as Edward Hopper. His artworks are famously successful in creating an atmosphere that perfectly captures loneliness. Scenes such as sitting alone at a bar, filling gas alone late at night, and waking up alone in the morning and sitting on the edge of the bed are highly specific situations that perfectly capture the feeling of being alone. Feeling insignificant can cause one to isolate and feel lonely, and I want to be able to capture a powerful mood like Hopper, minus the reliance on realism.
Nighthawks, 1942
In class, I discussed how I wanted to incorporate the idea of perception through different viewpoints or "lenses" and the feeling of loneliness into my overall theme of insignificance. I originally considered using some sort of glasses lens, kaleidoscope, or mirror imagery in my work. In this moment, I was reminded of an image of a Pink Tipped Satyr butterfly I had seen earlier in the week. They have transparent wings that occasionally refract light in a way that creates a holographic rainbow on their wings, like a lens. Finally, I figured out a way to tie in color and cuteness into my dark theme. As for the actual look of my art, I’m heavily inspired by the background art in Studio Ghibli movies! The colors are vibrant and though the art is digital, it has a painterly look. I’d like to try and incorporate this look using gouache paint.
Background Art from Studio Ghibli movie “Kiki’s Delivery Service”
Is my theme too specific to me or can you relate? How can I talk about how others make me feel without offending them? What if no one cares about the themes in my art and it literally proves my point in the most unsatisfying way possible?
This gives some really nice insight into your topic and creative process in planning this series. I'm interested in why you choose this imagery that is often associated with happiness to express a theme that seems to make you feel the opposite of happy. Is this a metaphor to how you disguise your feelings of loneliness as it appears to others? Is this a coping mechanism for you? Does investing yourself in these dreamy/ airy subjects help get your mind off of your negative feelings? And if so, could this then be a way of hiding your feelings from yourself as well, in efforts of concealing these feelings enough to not have to address them head on? If so…