The Grand Finale!

It's almost the end! With two days of school left, it's now time for me to close up this series for the year. Under extreme time limitations, combined with the stress of my personal life and the fact that I work every single weekend, I managed to get this far. There's been a lot of ups and downs throughout this process overall, so lets discuss that!

Here's a culmination of all three parts of my series. I think that all together, they tell a cohesive story and fit well together. The color schemes are fitting, the 2D paintings contrast each other, and the butterfly/moth creatures connect across all three parts, fitting the pieces together like a puzzle. Now that everything is here side by side, it's also much easier to understand the concept. The issue in the end is that I can and want to add more.

There's a lot of negative space in my paintings. As some of my classmates said, my first painting feels a bit empty because of this. In my last piece, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. In my first piece, however, the emptiness feels off. There's supposed to be an empty feeling, but I don't think it translates the way I'd like it too. I'm not sure what to do there, so if any of you could leave some suggestions as to how I could work back into my first painting, I'd appreciate it!

My second painting (digital) is almost done and I like how it's turned out for the most part, but there are some things I'd like to add. First, I'd like to add some more depth to the flowers by adding some more that come forward and are in different positions. I'd also like to make the light coming down from the top brighter and I'd like to add a few more ghost moths. The person at the bottom can use some minor tweaks and a bit more depth, as my classmate Claire suggested. Other than that I'm almost done! Adding these pieces on will not take very long, especially in comparison to the 7 hours I've spent on the project overall. I am optimistic for this piece, but my favorite has to be the moths.

I strayed from what I originally intended to create. My teacher suggested I push the concept beyond aesthetics, and I'm glad I took this advice. I incorporated a dark side to the wings of one moth, and this created the entire basis for my final part of the series from color scheme, theme, and to the moths I drew into the piece themselves. I has to push the idea of loneliness and the feeling of un-importance, but these themes didn't translate directly with the color schemes and symbols I was using. I like to mask my true meaning in my artwork with light and playful imagery, but if there's no indication that there's something deeper, the art loses its affect. By making my themes more apparent without using cliche symbols, I can still get my darker themes across while using light imagery. I don't want to write "this is deep" on my art, but I don't want to make something so obscure that no one gives a second thought to it. Overall I think it turned out nice, mostly because I combined felt with 2D artwork and because of the contrast of ideas. Technicality wise it could be better, and I'm honestly a bit embarrassed by my first painting because I didn't get too creative. I'll like it more one I add in more painted and embroidered flowers.

Working in a studio setting is helpful, but this year that experience lacked for sure. I had friends there with me to suggest some changes, but the fact that I also had to rely on people who were not physically in the classroom proved difficult. Trying to critique artwork virtually is difficult, especially when some people refuse to speak. I tried my best to communicate with my peers, but even I failed to go back to that feedback I gave some people to see how it affected their final artwork. I make a lot of my decisions in art and in life in general by receiving help from others and making the final decision for myself. However, a lot of my ideas just had to come from my own self reflection this time around, which isn't the worst thing but some conversation would've helped to get my idea juices flowing. Also, the fact that I usually had to wait like 10 minutes to speak to my teacher because she had to divide her attention to both us and the virtual students did NOT help either.

In the end, I still did get some feedback. The biggest takeaway for me is to stop limiting myself and to simple representations of concepts. I need to embrace my crazy and branch out beyond 2D paintings, making sure to really push my themes beyond aesthetics. I like making pretty things, but I can leave that to personal projects.

In being forced to look at other artists for inspiration (thank you teacher) I did actually find some that have left a lasting impact. For my final blog on the subject, I'll introduce you to Jessica Stoller and Reynier Llanes.

Jessica Stoller mainly works with Porcelain. Though her art seems very feminine and floral, like mine, it's very apparent that there is a deeper meaning. The combination of her color choices, incorporation of momento moris, and the occasional female...body part signify that there is a message beyond the aesthetic. When I first started this series, I think I was lacking this. Now that all three pieces come together, everything falls into place. If you were to take one part of Jessica's display out of context and display it alone, it might appear to be just a pretty flower, just a skull, etc. However, as one accumulative piece, the symbols work together to tell a story. I think this is true for my pieces as well, which is why it was so important that in looking at Jessica's work, I developed my own way to connect the dots.

I mostly looked at Reynier Llanes's art for aesthetic inspiration. His landscapes are beautiful, but they're not "just" landscapes. The use of thicker oil paint to create texture makes his art really unique. I was also drawn to the figure in this specific painting itself because it was yet another example of how to execute what I wanted to make in my first piece of the series in a way that is effective and visually appealing. The figure in my painting is a bit of a blob, I like how this painting makes the figure apparent without taking away from the landscape. You can check out more about the artist in this video: Intro for Reynier Llanes Exhibition at Harmon-Meek Gallery.

In the end, I think I've learned a lot this year. I lost my confidence as an artists when I joined the art academy because of the fact that skill wise, I saw everyone else as better than me. I think I've come a long way from where I started and am finding my niche (fiber arts and florals). I'm able to venture beyond simple concepts and boring imagery now that I'm starting to enjoy what I make, but I have a ways to go. This entire series is about feeling insignificant, and while I'm starting to heal my self-esteem in my art, I still struggle with my relationships with others. I felt it constantly while making this piece and still feel it now. Making my feelings public is hard, which is where art comes in handy, but I've learned that I can't hide my concept too much. I'd rather you all try and interpret my art rather than trying to interpret me, so I leave you with this.